Short Story

03-Dec-2011

The Bicycle Thief

A hot summer afternoon in the month of May. Shopkeepers had closed their shops and they had gone home for lunch. There were hardly any human souls on the road. The only shop that stood out in this bland view was ‘Rafique’s Salon’ with a missing ‘o’. The saloon’s board stretched across with the pictures of Indian cricketers and cine stars. Though the pictures can hardly be classified as portraits, nonetheless a good stare can help one identify the immortals. The shop was teeming with customers. Inside the shop, the barber was busy cutting hair and there were least five customers waiting for their turn. One thing was common among the customers (even the person who was getting attended by the barber), once in a while they looked outside the shop to make sure that their bicycles were safe.

Raju was sitting beneath a banyan tree and he looked attentively at the barbershop, which was across the road. He neither belonged to that village nor he was interested to get a haircut. He was interested in the bicycles parked outside the shop. He had calculated the risk and narrowed down on the bicycle, which he would steal. After waiting for sometime, he went to the shop. He opened the door and quickly glanced at the customers. With an air of disappointment he turned towards the barber, ’How much time will it take?’ Barber greeted Raju with a warm smile and like a shrewd mathematician he looked at his customers and calculated, ‘ One… One and half hour Sir’

‘Okay, I will come later’, replied Raju.

Raju closed the door behind him. On the right side of the shop, a bicycle was kept slanted to the shop’s wall. There was no lock on that bicycle. Raju took that bicycle and rode away with it at a normal speed. After riding the bicycle for a good five minutes, he looked carefully at the bicycle’s machine. In the bright sunshine, he could easily see those silver letters inscribed on the machine. He ran his fingers over the letters, which said ‘Rafique’

Like an artist, who was satisfied with his work, Raju looked pleased with his current possession. He rang the bicycle bell and said to himself, ‘ One... One and half hour ’

------- -------

Blame Narad - 2

One fine day, Narad Maharishee told his father, ‘Papa.. You work a lot and you need to take some rest’.
Brahmdev (Brahma) who was busy inventing some new species looked up, ‘hmm… Now what? You already screwed up my message for the earthlings. Now what do you want?’ (Flashback)
Narad Munee replied,’ I am sorry Papa. It was a mistake. I won’t repeat it. …..’

A moment of silence passed between dear God and his beloved son.

Narad continued, ‘I was saying, you need to take some rest. You work a lot. You should take a break and go out on a vacation.. Bahmas or some other place...’
Brahma thought about it, ’But…What about my work? Who will take care of it? You know I can’t trust anyone with my work’
‘I will look after your office when you are gone. I promise I won’t screw it this time’
Brahma started thinking about it. He knew something or the other will go wrong if he handovers the office to his son. Then he thought to himself, ’What the heck!! I can revert back whatever he does.. He is right… I need a break.’
‘Okay son… I will take a break. You manage this office in my absence. In case you need any help just ask Uncle Vishnu or Uncle Mahesh. And one thing… Do not touch any of my tools !!’
‘Okay I won’t. I promise’.
After finishing his pending work Brahmdev went on a long vacation. He handed over office keys to his beloved son Narad.

First couple of days went fine. Narad kept his promise. He didn’t touch any of his dads’ tool. But soon Narad started getting bored. He thought he will have a look at his fathers’ upcoming assignments. He opened the file which said ‘New Assignments’.
There were two new assignments:
1. Creat a fruit.
2. Create a bird.
Narad looked at it as an opportunity to impress and help his dad. So he started off with the work. He spent couple of weeks in coming up with the design. It took him almost a month to finish both the assignments.

By the time Narad finished his work, Brahmdev returned from his vacation.He was glad to see that everything was still in order.
He said to Narad, ‘So what did you do in my absence?’
‘Dad.. I couldn’t keep my promise. I went through your upcoming assignments file. I thought those assignments were pretty easy, so I finished it’
Brahmdev got curious, ‘What did you do?’
‘The fruit and the bird assignment… Look …over there.. I created them and placed them all over the earth’
Brahmdev had a close look at his sons’ work.
Narad, with an innocent smile and with the expectation of getting praised by his father asked, ‘Papa… I hope you are impressed with my work!!’
Brahmdev didn’t say a word. He went near the door and opened it… then he looked at Narad, ‘Please…Never ever enter this office again!!’
‘But what did I do Dad!! I tried to help you’
Brahmdev got angry, ‘I told you to not to touch any of the tools. You disobeyed me. And look what you have done now… You created a fruit with its seed growing outside the fruit… and you created a bird which is neither a bird nor a mammal. Enough of it… Please leave this office now!!!’

………….
Dear readers,
It’s a mythical story presented in a modern way.
Even though you know the fruit and the creature, you wouldn’t have known its creator until now.
Thanks to Narad Maharashee, we have a uniquie fruit called Cashew and a unique creature called Bat.
……………

Blame Narad - 1

Brahma is the ‘Creator’ and he is the one who defines 'how we should live' rules.

One fine morning, Mr. Brahma told Narad Munni to go and tell Bhumiwasi (people from earth) to take bath 3 times a day and eat once a day. Like always Mr. Narad screwed it up and delivered wrong message. He told us to, ‘Eat 3 times a day and take bath once’.

Now we all know whom to blame for our bad looks and overweight !!

Muthashi Song !!!

When I was a kid, (On demand!!) my dad will sing a Mallu song for me. I keep my head on his chest and listen to the song ardently.

It went something like this..(I don’t remember the exact lyrics)


“Kayalinn akare pokan enniku oru kalivallom undayirrunnu...
enniku oru kallivallom undayiruunnu…

Kathakal parayan…kali vanji thozhayan..muthassi undayirrunnu…
enniku oru muthassi undayirrunnu……”


Meaning of the lyrics /Story....

Once upon a time, in a village situated near a lake, there lived a Muthassi (grandmother)and her Unni (grandson). Every evening, Muthassi and Unni went to a temple,situated on the opposite bank of the lake. On their way to the temple, Muthassi used to row the boat, tell fairy tales and sing Kathakali songs.

Days went by…

One evening, nature showed its fury. Dark clouds engulfed the sky. It started raining heavily. Muthassi asked Unni to stay at home. She said she will go to the temple and pray on his behalf. Unni didn't listen to her and started crying. He wept hard and kept saying "Please don't go Ma..Please don't leave me alone".

She didn't listen to him. She left in that cursed boat... all alone. Soon only a silhouette of her boat was visible in the storm. Next morning, villagers found that empty wooden chariot, in the middle of the lake.


At the end of the song, tears start rolling down my cheeks…..And in between my sobs, I ask Dad to sing 'The Muthashi' song again… :)

Short Story

"Can we kill our self by holding our breath?..."

They were sitting at CCD, when Raj asked this question to Sneha.

Sneha was one of the most brilliant and charming girls that Raj ever came across in his life. On the contrary, Raj was a not so brilliant-stupid guy. They say unlike charges attract each other and something similar happened in their life and they got married.

Raj never won when ever he indulged in a debate with Sneha. She always had some logic behind her answers that Raj had to accept. The giggle and laughter at the end of these battles drove him crazy.You can call it 'Male Ego' or madness, Raj wanted to prove Sneha wrong at least on one ocassion.

"What?"

Raj asked her again, "Can we kill our self by holding our breath?"

"No. Never"

Raj became curious, "how can you say that?"

"I said No... means No"

"There will be some explanation!!!"

"Ok. In simple words...After holding your breath for a certain amount of time, the nervous system will stimulate a reaction which you won't be able to control. Your brain cells will send across a message to respire"

Raj got more confused, "I don't think so. You are wrong this time"

Sneha, "Okay so what is your explanation....Come on tell me..."

Raj was silent. He kept looking at Sneha.

"Oh come on. You can't make a statement just like that. Without any proof"

Raj didn't reply and Sneha became more worried than furious, "Raj whats' going on? Say something please"

Raj kept staring at her. He was mum.

"Oh dear..Are you holding your breath"
"Okay go ahead. I know you will breath again"

Raj didn't say anything.He had a smile on his face.

"Oh please Raj. Come on. Don't be an idiot. Please.."

It had been more than 1 minute and Raj was still holding his breath...

Her eyes were brimming with tears..."Please Raj. I beg you. Please".
"Okay you won...for Gods' sake..start breathing"

Raj knew, if he will breathe, he will lose again!!!

Jokes (Title not yet decided)

Even though the fart joke from ancient Sumerian civilization in 1900 BC is believed to be the worlds' oldest joke, I think jokes were there even before the creation of earth.I don't have any evidences to prove that my theories are correct, but in todays' world who cares for evidences. You just need some media hype and you need to repeat a sentence 1000 times on television. There you go - 100 billion people thinking "Why is he saying such a simple fact daily on television?"

Creation of Earth

God *Dobrek was playing GODS in his Atari ST personal computer. For 400 years he was stuck on level 3 of the game. Level 3 was very tough and Dobrek was fed up with the machines' performance. Finally he decided to take a P break.

The best of ideas come to ones mind while emptying stomach. After an year, 'The' idea stuck him - "I should create a real game. A game with no levels and plenty of players. Players who will worship me as the ultimate power." He finished his job and got back to his workstation with this new project. Meanwhile water level in the planet 'Pusho', increased upto 400m because of unprecedented rainfall for continuous one year. Next time when your mom says not to go outside during rain, she really means it.

Dobrek, who learned civil engineering using e-books and Xeroxed version of original books, started looking at his earlier work - 'The Universe'. He admired his work for 2 years. Then he started looking for a space. "No not there.There I do my asteroidical experiments. Nope. There I go for walk. I need free space there. I do my push ups there. Not Possible". Finally he got a perfect area for his new project. "Aha, 'Pusho'. I have always neglected this cute little sphere. I will play my game here. Oh God!! okay that is me.... it is full of water. I will have to do lot of work here. At least 88 million person work per year for 4.54 billion years."

He started off with his works. Years went by. He hardly took any break. Meanwhile other planets faced drought situation. Planets which were about to have life on them through the well known scientific method of slow and steady evolution of unicellular-multicellular-mean mammals, got affected.

Dobrek finished of his job in time and finally said to himself -"Aha!! Its' almost ready. Now it's time to create my players."

-- To be continued

--*Author believes in only one religion and that is "Matfenk" and one God -"Dobrek". Whenever he gets stuck in a meeting or session, he prays to Dobrek and the very next moment he gets a break.

Story Time...(For Kidz)

Once there lived a man named Anonymous in a village called Known. His village was located in one of the mountain valleys of Mt. Famous. Mt. Famous was a popular tourist destination. Its’ lush green valleys and apple trees attracted tourists from all over the world.

Anonymous had a crush on Fame, the most beautiful lady in Known. She was daughter of Success, the apple plantation owner. Anonymous’ father Misery and his mother Hunger worked in one of the plantations owned by Success. With such an unimpressive family background, it was impossible for Anonymous to get Fame as his life partner.

One day Anonymous left his village in search of Wealth, saint from the city of Gold. He walked through dark and dense Hardwork forest. He swam across river Impossible. Finally he reached at a detour to Gold, the village called Luck. Villagers were not at all friendly. They asked Anonymous to either give them 1000 Braves (local currency) or return back. After leaving his small home called Comfort, anonymous had made lots of Braves during his journey. He paid the villagers and reached the city of Gold. Wealth liked Anonymous straightaway. He packed his bag and accompanied Anonymous on his way back to Known. Wealth promised to stay with Anonymous as long as he will cross forests and rivers to bring his medicines from Gold. With the magical powers of Wealth, Anonymous built a big house. He bought apple plantations. Success was impressed with Anonymous and he married his daughter to Anonymous. Soon after their marriage, Anonymous changed his name to Well Known.

Mr. and Mrs. Well Known lived happily ever after.

A confusing story

A confusing story....
Ajith likes Anjali. But Anjali has got a crush on Ankur. But she won't take the initiative and will wait till Ankur say so. Ankur thinks Anjali is his best friend and don't have any other feelings. He believes in love at first sight, which he realized when he first saw Ajitha , Ajiths' sister. Ajitha and Anjali are friends, so she knows Anjali has got a crush on Ankur and used to give Anjali different ideas to impress Ankur. Ajith is Ankurs' best friend, Ankur thinks it's against all moral code to propose a friends' sister.
For CAT folks (others can skip this passage)
Aj (M)->An(F)
An(F)-> Ank(M)
Ank(M)->Aj(F)
M->M wrong...at least in this story
F->F wrong… at least in this story

Okay let's get back to the story..
So we have gotta problem here. First, the names are confusing -all starting with A. Why all names starting with As? I love people whose name start with A, they are the one who screw VIVA first. Second, we don't have an angel SRK to solve this puzzle. Why no SRK? The story has nothing to do with hockey or cricket. So let's put a doggy in the story. Why doggy? I love Doggies.
Ajith has got a cute, very beautiful, very pretty, very naughty dog - Arnold - Doberman. Arnold never barks, just chases. Anna, Ajiths' milkman, still remembers the day when he rode his cycle faster than Armstrong for 5 kms. After that Arnold overtook Anna and went on chasing a bike.
It happened so, once our cute Arnold went after Ankur. Ankur tried his very best to dodge doggy but he couldn't and landed up in the City hospital, totally unconscious. No bites!!! No bleeding!!! No Injections!!! When he opened his eyes, he saw Ajith standing next to his bed, Ajitha was sitting there in a steel chair, reading Famina. Anjali was sitting at his bed, her eyes brimming with tears and nose..leave it. Ankur looked towards Ajitha (in SRK style), and somehow managed to make a sentence, âbla..bla..bla.....
Ajitha dropped Femina, Anjali stood up, and Ajith looked anxious. "What?"
"bla..bla..bla.."
"What happened to you man?"
"bla..bla..bla..'"
Ajith brought Dr. Asthana and doc took a closer look at his patient and finally said, 'I think he is still in shock, it will take some time for him to get out of it".
Meanwhile, Ankur was making full use of this opportunity. He was looking towards Ajitha and saying "bly bla blu....bly bla blu.."
"He is trying to say something... Ankur what is it?'
"bly bla blu...bly bla blu"
"What?"
Even Ankur didn't realize when he regained his proper sentence making ability and shouted out those 3 words. Everyone was shocked.
Finally, Ankur got Ajitha and Ajith got Anjali.
God knows from where Arnold came to the hospital and poor Dr. Asthana ended in the bed next to ankur!!!
For CAT folks (others can skip this passage)
Aj (M)->An(F)
An(F)-> Aj(M)
Ank(M)->Aj(F)
Aj(F)->Ank(M)
Ar(D) still Chasing someone....