Gabbar bana SE !!!!

Saw a dog last night in our campus and thought of writing this story…..

Gabbar bana SE !!!!!

“Hey its 10, hurry up or else we will miss the bus” yelled Karthiks’ teammate.
“Yah!! It’s almost over…..send…close…Shutdown …Let’s go!!!”
They hurried through the passage and went past cubicles. Their floor was almost deserted.

On their way to the lift his friend said, “Come…Lets have a race…Let’s see who reaches the food court first!!!”
“What!!!! You wanna race at this time!! Are you gone mad? I am totally exhausted by the days’ work”
“Your wish”, replied his friend and gave a quick dash towards the lift, he pressed the button and it opened instantaneously. He got in and closed the door.
Karthik was left dumbstruck, who was still around 50 meters away from the elevator. “Hey…wait…What the hell ….” Karthik took a quick turn and took the stairs instead. He was no more tired. He was getting down the stairs as swiftly as possible.”I am gonna kill him…I have to win this one...Huh...Boy I will show you…who’s the best”. He left the security personnel gawking at him. He ran across the ground floor.. out to the open. The cool breeze made him feel better, but he didn’t give up the sprint. And there he was at the Food court in half a minute’s time.
“Huh….he hasn’t yet reached… I won …oh…that was kool”

After 5 minutes his friend came to the food court.
“Hey…Where were you man...I was waiting for you “
“What?? I took the stairs…When you closed the door”
“Oh God, instead of pressing the open button , I pressed the close….and When I realized I opened it again, but I was not able to see you there….then I went around in search of you…”
“Oh!!!”
“Then I heard someone shouting and yelling at the stairs…I got a bit afraid...And came back to the lift….when I asked the security he said he saw someone running past him”
“Hmm…it was me….I thought you are really having a race…” Karthik started laughing at the dumb act and his teammate joined with his own style of laughing howls.

“Hey Karthik!! Look at that dog…Who allowed him to get in…let’s take a snap and we can publish it tomorrow”.
”Hey we have to catch the bus”
“Wait...It will just take a minute….” And his friend took out his camera.

“There are lots of such pictures...And yours won’t make any difference..Come lets go”, said Kathik.
“hmm.. You are right..Why don’t you put that Identity card over the dog…that will look nice and it will be different?”
“What??”
“Yah...do that man...We will have fun...See …the dog is not moving at all, it looks to be sleeping…come on...Do that”.
“hmmm good idea…but make it fast”, Karthik took his I-Card out and with trembling hands he put that onto the dogs’ neck.

All of a sudden the dog stood up. And started waving his tail, as if he was saying ‘hello’ to his colleagues.
Click...Click…..
He gave a nice bark…
Click…Click…..
His canine was shinning like that of a tiger….
Click…Click….
“Wow..This is great…awesome pics…Dude…I think we are gonna have a great day tomorrow…look at the pics..Man!!!”
Karthik took the camera from his friend and started going through the pics…”Nice one indeed…great …tomorrow we will publish it...ha ha ha…come on lets go…”

When they reached the main gate, the security guard asked Karthik “Where is your card??”
Karthik turned towards his teammate with wide open eyes “Oh God...My I-Card…it’s still with that dog….”
“Oh…No!!”
They both turned back and started running back to the food court.
“We saw him here….but where is he…he is gone…..”
They searched all possible areas…amphitheater…garden…each and every pavement…parking lot….the dog was nowhere. At last they saw a security guard, ”Hello Sir did you see any dog with I-card?”
“Yah...I saw one going into that building”
“Huh…Why didn’t you stop him?”
“When I started to stop him...He stared at me and started barking as if he belongs to this company, I am going to the main gate to get some help”.
“What!!!…Karthik...Come on...Let’s go…”
They searched each and every floor, but the dog was nowhere. At last they reached their floor, it was still vacant. They heard some faint sound coming from a nearby cubicle. When they looked into it…They saw the dog…Sleeping quietly on a chair in front of a system as if doing the work assigned to him.
“Click...Click”
“Now take that I-Card off him dude”
And Karthik took that card carefully. The dog stood up languidly. The shine that they saw earlier in his eyes was gone. His canine was no more visible. He kept his head down. Without making any sound he left the floor.

Next day Karthiiks’ teammate published the dogs’ edited photo, sleeping in front of a system with a Card around his neck saying…

Gabbar,
Emp No. #,
Tel No #,
Blood Group#...
Software Engineer

Server Bole tho !!!!

Server Bole tho!!!

First year was the most hectic year in my engineering academic life. On one side I was about to leave Physics and Chemistry forever and on other side I was about to join the geek world.
Scene: First year computer practical exam.
Venue: Computer Lab
Time: The worst possible time...Around 12 o’clock.

The last day of my first year exams and the biggest mountain is still not conquered - “Computer Practical”.
The only thing I learned in last one year is to differentiate between a CPU and a monitor. This is the only
true knowledge I have about this subject.

Let me look at the search and sort program again.
Scanf then printf….Oops…printf then scanf… # include iostream.h…#include conio.h…clrscr()
Oh...God...I wish that share folder still exists… I hope the netsend command still works.
God...Help me… main ()…curly brackets open….

Oops !! There he is, the most brilliant student of our class Janeesh K.J , the one who asked
doubt to our Mechanical faculty on the first day itself. A tough question “Sir, is it possible to
store data on WordStar instead of Access “.

Ghosh!!! What’s WordStar?? What’s Access?? I am going to fail.
He looks too cool. Boy…5 more minutes left... C came after B…now we have C++ and VC++…C was discovered/invented (not sure) by Dennis Richie….

I can hear one of the gal asking Janeesh “What’s ANSI C ?”
Oops...I don’t know even that...Probably discovered by Ancy… so C was discovered by both Dennis and Ancy… might be husband - wife.

Here comes the lab assistant.
“Guys get in!!!”

So at last the time has come. Utmost one more supplementary. Huh!!! Karthik …you have been through these situations now and then … bravo...Come on!!!!

I entered the lab with shaking hands...legs…entire body...

Oh that’s my system!!!! It’s still vacant…my shared drives…. Ha ha ha ..great

“Hey…take this system…sit according to your roll number” (In came the voice of lab assistant)

What the…H*%$ is it….?

Hey even this system is far from the faculty’s desk. This is great.

“Now !! turn over the sheet of paper on your desk, you have to complete the task in 3 hours. First write down the algorithm and then start doing the program.”

So...This is it… Come on…let’s see what’s in there….

Write a program to sort N natural numbers in ascending order and then perform search operation.
(PS: Use Bubble sort and binary search).

Nice question the one I have mugged up. Take this Compy – Dompy…
#include iostream.h…#include conio.h..main()….

Its’ over and still plenty of time left. Let me see what others are doing. Oh !! God they all are gone. Was this paper that easy!!

“Karthik are you finished with the work?”
“Yes Mam”
“OK !! show me the output”
“Here it is...” ..Ctrl+F9

“Okay..that looks okay..it could have been better…you should add comments where ever possible…”…bla bla bla..and one more bla….
Oh !!! she is gone….hmmm..she will never get satisfied…anyways..It’s over…

I started going towards the door

“Karthik !!! where r u going? Come over here. You still have VIVA left.”

Huh !!! Not again !!!

“Please sit “
“Thank you “

“Okay !! Tell me..What is a computer”
‘A computer is an electronic device…….tttttrrrrrrrrrrppppppp”..
I am the best..I am the best..I am the best.. Yah I am best

“What r macros?”
‘Sorry’
Did she hear me saying I am the best…

“What r libraries”
‘Pardon’

“What are command line arguments?”
‘Don’t know’

“What are inbuilt functions?”
‘Can u please repeat the question……’
Are these questions from Computer Science!!!! Huh !!!

“Okay one last question…Show me where is the server in our lab”
Hmmm….Server is something big…yah it’s very big….bigger than CPU and monitor…now I have to find where it is….hmmm…
not that…that’s a switch board…not even that...that’s AC….hmmmm…which one is the server…..Oopps…that’s her again…

“Hey !!! Stop revolving in your chair and tell me..Which is the server?”
Hey that looks like a server….
’There it is’.…(pointing hand towards the UPS, but the faculty thought Karthik was pointing towards the system..kept on the table )

“Good…Why didn’t you tell me earlier if you knew that? Actually no one answered it correctly...Good keep it up”
“Thank you mam..thanks a lot…”

Yahoooo…..last ball..sixer..yipeeee………………….

From then on I never looked back, within hours I became the hero of the class. People started coming to me with their doubts.
I cleared all their doubts. Even that svelte gal came and asked “What’s ANSI C ?”. Till date she thinks Richie and Ancy are husband and wife.

Alas!!! The Quest Ends.......

Alas!!! The Quest Ends.......

I parked the car in front of her house. The sit out was filled with unknown faces. They all had something in common- a wide smile and a good dress (probably from the same store). I stepped out of my car and helped my uncle who is around 75 to get out. Mom whispered, “It seems all are waiting for us”. Spitting out the remains of betal leaves, without bothering the crowd my uncle replied in a louder voice, “It’s like this only. Anyway, this is less as compared to the crowd we used to have in our time. The whole village used to gather on such occasions… ha ha ha “. Mom gave a sheepish smile, (so embarrassing).

We just had moved two or three steps,I saw a man making his way out of the crowd. He had the biggest smile compared to others. Mom murmured again, “Must be gal’s dad”.)

“Hello !!! (with a much wider smile…testing the limits of his mouth), did you find it difficult to search our house?”

My uncle (louder than ever) “No …Never….(after a small pause) Just kept on asking now n then…We went in the wrong direction at one or two places...Anyway it was a nice drive”. (Who asked him all these details…huh…? )

The man (still with that sluggish smile),”Okay, Come…”.

I looked at the mob….How to get in? But to my surprise, the sit out was clear in no time. They took all the possible exits (over the small bars…getting back into the house… from the edge of the steps…pushing each other...as if making way for some VIP).

We went inside the house. The front room was beautifully decorated. All the show pieces were on display. The table had two or three flower wases containing different colors of plastic flowers. The drawing table was surrounded by sofa sets. A lady came out of the room and asked my mom something in a very low voice. Then I saw Mom going inside with that lady.( Oh!!! Mom please come back ). I was left alone with my uncle in the drawing room. Almost all the sofa sets were occupied. The man with a controlled anger asked a little toddler to get out of the sofa, and turned towards us “Please …”

Uncle sat next to me and the man made his tummy to settle down in a sofa kept in front of us. There was pin drop silence in the room; it looked as if I was sitting in an examination hall. Someone from the crowd, broke the silence,” Did you find it difficult to search the house?”
Oh!! Not again. But this time, I didn’t allow my uncle to answer and I gave a quick reply, “No...It was a nice drive”
“So how was the weather?”
“Pretty ok…it drizzled a bit...”

Then my uncle took over the stage. He came up with different topics, ranging from our mutual relatives to current politics. And the half an hour nonstop chat was nasty. All eyes were on me. And whenever I looked back, either they gave a sheepish smile or they turned their faces in some other direction.( So disgusting..huh!!!!) People were pushing and pulling each other to have a look at me ….At last a wise man (thanks a lot …you are the best person) said, “Ok lets have some tea and snacks…. Let’s call the gal”.

The gals’ father got up and went inside. I kept my eyes on the door. And now…Here she is…a beautiful looking gal…. with a smile on her face… so charming...so innocent…and the frock really suits her…

what??? Frock!!!!... ..

Very cute little kid… she came near and whispered , “Uncle…Didi will be here in any moment…” .

I smiled back…”OK..let’s wait for the tsunami…he he he ”

She giggled and even I couldn’t stop laughing. No one else noticed it, they were busy with their own discussions.I was having a great time with the kid, who was sitting on my lap with lots of authority.
“Where is your didi?”
“She is doing some final touching. In the morning she was cursing mom for not getting her favorite Fusha Pink nailpolish.”
I couldn’t control my laughter and the whole room went silent. They were all staring at me.“Sorry!!!”

But soon they started looking towards the door. There she is!! Yah..that’s her !!! She looked like a princess in her red Kanchipuram(whatever) Saree. She barely had any ornaments. Her beauty lied in her simplicity. For a second, I thought there was no one else in the room.
Suddenly I felt as if someone was pinching me,”Bhaiya, stop staring at her….Shut your wide open mouth”
“Oopps!! Thank you dear “

She placed the tray on the table and took a step or two back. She stood there silently. She was not even looking at me. It looked as if her eyes were searching for some images on the floor. Again the silence broke with my Uncles’ sound,”So what are you doing nowadays Sapna?”

Her dad intrupted,”mmm.. Sneha..not Sapna”.

“Oh!! I am really sorry, she looks exactly like my daughter Sapna, that’s’ why I got confused”

(Huh!!! His daughter Sapna, looks more like Ashok Leyland!!! How can he compare this gal with her?)

“I am working with a technopark based software company”, Sneha replied.

“Nice to hear that, today gals are as smart as boys, gone those days when they were considered as house maids..ha ha ha ha”… (huh!! One more addition to his list of PJs )

That was just a start, after that she was bombarded with lot many questions. My uncle didn’t even bother to shut his mouth once. Even mom was looking awkwardly towards uncle. Poor gal…my sympathies are with you. Does she know that I am the fellow for whom she is taking so much pain. I don’t think she knows me. After half an hour of cross questioning, her dad interrupted my uncle and looked at me, “If you want to talk to her, you can very well have a chat with her”.

I was about to say something, when my uncle cut across,”hmm.. that’s nice, I think they should be left alone”

(Thank God!!! For the first time he said something sane. I will buy you a pair of betal leaves on our way back. )

“Ok, then Sneha!! Show your room to Karthik”.

She looked at me for the first time and smiled. Oh God!!! That’s a million dollar smile. She turned and went inside the room. I followed her and the little toddler kept swinging on my right arm. Man!! She really weighs a lot… God knows…What her mom feeds her?

I entered her room, very nicely maintained place. Lots n lots of books, placed neatly on shelves. A nice sheet adored her bed. Walls were beautifully decorated with paintings, with a sign of “S” on each painting. A computer was kept at the corner. I sat on a chair next to it. The little gal rushed towards the dressing table. She started trying all sort of makeup on her little face. She was making maximum use of this freedom; she knew that her sister won’t scold her in front of me.

Somehow I wanted to break the silence,”hmm..Sneha!!”
“Yes..”
My mind went blank… nothing to ask…Oh God !!!

“No nailpolishes..why?”

(What the hell?.. from where I got this question…Kid…I am gonna kill you… )

She stared at me and then looked at the toddler,” I am gonna kill her. She is such a big mouth”.

Then she realized , what she was saying. She looked at me again, “I am sorry.”

I started laughing at my foolishness and even she felt the humor. Soon we were talking like friends. After half an hour, I realized the time, “I think I must go now. It was really nice talking to you”
“Same here Karthik”
She smiled and I kept looking at her.
By then her little sister was making hell lot of noise..“Bhaiya..let’s go!!!”
“Sneha, do you like me”

“Bhaiya lets go…”.. grrrrrrr……

After a pause, with a touch of shyness, she said, “Yes”

“Bhaiya lets go! Let’s Go!!!! Lets Goooooooooo!!!!”

The kid was so disturbing, she was spoiling the whole charm.
I looked at the toddler and roared, “Shut up..Shut up will you??...huh………don’ t call me bhaiya anymore…. … …I am your jiju”


And the room filled with our laughs and cheers.